Antidepressants Blog

Mosquitoes are especially prevalent in summer. They are more active at night, and also take advantage of not having a moving target while your child sleeps. Children who are sensitive to mosquito bites develop very itchy red lumps at the bite sites. If your child is bitten on the face, this can lead to marked swelling. You can apply help to reduce swelling. Try to discourage your child from scratching at the bite, in order to prevent infection. If your child has severe swelling and itching at the site of the bite, and this interferes with his sleep, the short-term use of an antihistamine may help him to sleep, as well as decreasing the itching.

Prevention

For a young baby a net over the cot is the safest form of protection against mosquitos. When taking your baby outdoors, make sure you dress him in light clothing which has long sleeves and trousers. Insect repellent can be used on older children but apply it sparingly, and make sure that they do not get it in their mouths or eyes. Roll-on repellents are preferable to aerosols when used for children.

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Sit down as a family and play the ‘ ‘Sex Contingencies” game. This exercise will allow you to review the material from all twelve chapters of this book and to share your feelings now that you have read and thought about super marital sex. Each person should take a turn responding to each of the following ten items.

1. WHAT do you consider to be a sexual act? Do you view sex in a different, more inclusive manner after reading this book?

2. WHO would be the best sexual partner for you? What would be the characteristics of someone you could love for life?

3. WHY would you have sex? Has your personal “model” of sexuality changed in the direction of the fourth perspective?

4. WHEN would you prefer to have sex? Do you relate your personal intimate relationship to the systems view that incorporates all phases of daily living, a sex beyond the limits of “nighttime”?

5. WHERE would you prefer to have sex? Have you thought about your own private, intimate place and about providing an intimate place for everyone in the family?

6. HOW do you prefer to have sex? Have you learned that the posture of the future is really a positioning for a new intimacy, a finding of a new perspective for sex in lasting relationships?

7. WHERE DOES SEX FIT IN YOUR LIFE? What priority do you assign to sexuality, and are you making the commitment necessary to match your own priority for sex?

8. HOW SECRET should sex be? Have you learned about making sexuality an open discussion of family life, to be discussed and examined together even as it is protected as the most personal and private of all life experiences?

9. HOW MUCH VARIETY do you feel you require in your sexuality? Have you learned that the comfort of sameness can exceed the challenge and pressures of newness, that super sex is not different sex?

10.    so WHAT? What does sex mean to you, to your family, to your marriage

now that you have read about another perspective on sexuality?

I hope that you find in these sample questions and in the material I have shared with you in this book a new challenge for a new sex for a new time. I hope you have made progress toward a super marital sex, a committed, enduring, comfortable intimacy that is “super” because it goes beyond the limits of the body to the potential of the merging of spirits.

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Man, I’m telling you, I think I almost threw my back out. We tried it on one of those water beds. We never got into the swing of the thing. The thing took control of us. It was like making love on a bucking bronco.

HUSBAND

In outfitting your clinic, pick a bed that is large, firm, and quiet while in motion. Test it out, at least a little, before you buy. Considering how much time you spend in bed, it is worth a major investment. If possible, dispense with a stand and place the mattress and springs directly on the floor. Doing so will add firmness and soundproofing. Forget water beds. Contrary to mythology, and except for variety, they are not the best environment for sex and certainly not for the posture of the future.

You will also need about ten large, firm pillows. Some wedge-shaped pillows will come in handy for the posture of the future. Bedding should be mutually appealing to both partners, but satin sheets, again contrary to popular myth, are not the best for sex. “I slip, he slips, the bed slips, the pillows disappear, and I almost get shot right out from underneath him. When I’m on top, I can’t get any traction,” reported one wife in the couples’ sample.

Make sure the colors in the room appeal to both of you. Both partners must be involved in the design and decorating of this clinic. It will take some time, but make this private place the best place for both of you to be free. Make sure the phone unplugs and anything distracting is removed. If you want mirrors, put them up. Nobody will see them if you keep this room locked.

If you have followed along to this point, stand back now and do an inspection of the construction. Any artwork should be mutually chosen, preferably enlarged pictures of both of you. No pictures of the kids, the dog, parents, or friends. This one private place should reflect a celebration of your marriage, your intimacy, and your sexuality. Add any last-minute details such as incense, candles, a new soft rug, space heater if it gets too cold, and air conditioner if it gets too hot. Make sure you have removed any and all excuses for why this room is not totally yours. Once you have done that, once you have prevented your bedroom from being a “bored” room, your clinic is ready for staffing.

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There is no research available documenting successful marital therapy. At best, researchers can identify “non-failures” in treatment programs. You will learn later how to treat your own sex and marital problems and how to select a professional helper if you need one. For now, do not go to a therapist who quotes “high success rates.” There is really no such thing. Therapists and therapy do not cure; people must heal their own relationships.

In spite of all marital advice available on television and from books, you are the only ones who know what you want and how to get it. There is probably too much communication in marriage, not too little, as therapists like to stress. We talk too much and sense too little. Therapists may tell you to talk more, listen more, use lotions, touch each other, or prescribe an array of supposedly “tested” techniques for improving sex in marriage. Unfortunately, these models are based on an incomplete perspective of the relationship between marriage and sex.

We are told that if we can find the right technique, if we can only “do something,” we can solve our problems. If I learned anything from observing these thousand “hardy” couples and the hundreds of others in my clinical experience, I have learned that marriage is first and foremost a system, the most complex of systems, and that it has been corrupted by the unquestioned acceptance of the “sex-perts” and their magic techniques for satisfaction.

The answer to any marital problem rests within, not without. It rests on understanding your unique system of interacting, independent of measures of vascular change, fluid discharge, orgasmic reflex, and communicational gimmicks. You will be learning a “super sex,” a way of interacting intimately that transcends the meeting of some historically imposed genital and orgasmic tradition.

Remember, if we chase a butterfly hard and fast, we will never eaten it. Perhaps if we learn to receive instead of achieve, we will be open to our own natural supersystem. The butterfly will light î our shoulder.

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One of the main, if not the main function of the doctor down through the ages, has been the relief of pain.

Perhaps, with the rapid increase in the means to actually treat the underlying cause, doctors have not recently concentrated enough on relieving chronic pain.

Certainly, the best pain-relieving drugs are those derived from opium and this hasn’t changed for centuries but doctors are again looking at the problem of pain and trying to do something about it.

Pain management clinics have sprung up in hospitals and as private clinics and usually consist of several different specialists working as a team.

The discovery of substances called endorphins occuring naturally in the body has prompted research to stimulate their production. These are pain-relieving chemicals believed to be stronger in action than morphine and heroin.

Acupuncture is believed to work in relieving chronic pain by stimulating the formation of endorphins and some forms of massage can do the same.

Chronic pain causes depression and, perhaps, depression itself is a cause of pain.

No longer is there any justification for the physician or surgeon to say to a patient with chronic pain that she will just have to learn to live with it. Referral to a pain clinic will bring the sufferer not only hope but, in many instances, considerable relief as well.

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Constipation leads to a bloated, uncomfortable feeling in the abdomen, to headaches and lethargy. These symptoms were once thought to be due to absorption of toxic products from the bowel. Experiments have shown that these symptoms are due only to distension of the bowel and not to any ‘poisoning’.

There are many causes of constipation. Some may be normal or physiological, such as from dehydration, from starvation or from a low or non-residue diet.

Local disease of the bowel, such as cancer or diverticulitis, may cause obstruction and so constipation.

General disease elsewhere may affect the bowel. When the thyroid gland is under-active (myxoede-ma) all the body functions slow down. Drugs may be a common cause of slowing down of the bowel activity. Opium and all its derivatives, including codeine, are constipating.

Prolonged immobility, from confinement to bed or a long car or plane trip, can be a cause. Constipation may also result from depression.

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The ideal parent should love, nurture and wisely discipline his children so they may develop as ideal children and into ideal adults. But the real world is rarely like that.

Even with the best will in the world and no matter how much we love our children, they sometimes do get us down. Perhaps we sometimes smack them as a result of our own anger or frustration rather than in a genuine desire to teach them not to do the wrong thing.

Recognise yourself in this description? Perhaps if you answer yes, you have some objection to seeing it included under a discusion on child abuse. It really is all a matter of degree.

Children of all ages are frequently abused in our community. This may be physical or mental abuse, they may be deprived of proper nutrition or they may be sexually abused. While we may rightly be offended by this behavior we will not solve the problem nor help the victims by seeking only to punish those parents who abuse their children.

There are many reasons why these parents may fall below what we regard as proper behavior to their children.

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Each organ consists of a number of different types of cells arranged in a characteristic pattern. For example, the stomach has an inner lining, a muscle layer and an outer protective coat. The lining contains acid-producing and mucus-producing cells. The middle layer contains muscle cells, blood vessels with the different types of blood cells within them, lymph vessels, lymph cells, and supporting cells which hold all the others together. The outer layer contains supporting cells and nerve cells.

Some cells, such as the acid-producing cells, occur only in the stomach. Some, such as the muscle cells, are also found in the intestines, bladder and other organs. Others, such as blood and lymph vessels, are found throughout the body. Each type of cell has a unique job and a unique appearance. A muscle cell cannot do the job of a nerve cell. An acid-producing cell cannot do the job of a blood cell, and so on.

The process of developing special functions is called differentiation or maturation. A cell with few or no special functions is called undifferentiated, immature or primitive. The only function of undifferentiated cells is to multiply when necessary to produce cells which are capable of developing into specialised cells. Once cells specialise they often lose the ability to multiply. For example, mature red blood cells are so specialised for carrying oxygen around the body that they cannot reproduce themselves. As old cells wear out or are lost by bleeding, new red blood cells come from undifferentiated cells in the bone marrow, not from the mature red cells in the blood.

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Once your body is no longer receiving the replacement oestrogen, the symptoms of oestrogen deficiency will start to return. For hot Rushes, unless you are several years past the menopause (or have been cutting down gradually), you will probably notice them appear within a few days; but you will continue to have the benefit of oestrogen on the condition of your skin, bones, vagina and bladder for a few months after you stop. Eventually, however, your skin will become thinner, your vagina drier, your bones less dense, and bladder problems may return.

Nature has pre-detennined for you how long your hot flushes and other short-term symptoms will last, and taking HRT will not affect this. So, for example, if you were genetically destined to have flushes for two years and you stop HRT after eighteen months, then the flushes will last for another six months; if you stop HRT after two and a half years, you will probably get some flushes as your body’s level of oestrogen falls, but once you have stopped taking it and oestrogen levels have stabilised again, the flushes should stop. What you can’t know, however, is what timespan. Nature has in mind for you, so it is impossible to predict exactly how you will be affected by the withdrawal of replacement oestrogen.

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Many women report a marked improvement in their symptoms after hysterectomy. Others experience a worsening of some symptoms, or the emergence of new symptoms that they attribute to the operation. The University of Newcastle/Macquarie University study mentioned earlier in this chapter found that while two-thirds of women considered that the symptoms they had before hysterectomy were improved by the operation, nearly as many women had symptoms which they thought were made worse or were caused by their hysterectomy. Participating women generally experienced less abdominal and back pain than before the operation, their incontinence improved, sex was less painful and they were less tired and tearful. However 29% were concerned about the development of hot flushes since their hysterectomy, 21% now had vaginal dryness and 17% had weight problems. Many also said they found the convalescence more difficult than they had expected, with pain a particular problem. Sizeable numbers would have liked more information about what was involved in recovering from hysterectomy before deciding on the operation, as well as more help in dealing with emotional problems associated with it and more information about alternative treatments. A small proportion thought they were worse off; 4% said the operation caused more problems than it solved and 7% that they would not have gone ahead had they fully understood what it entailed. Despite this, 96% of the women said they were satisfied that they had had the right treatment, and 95% said they would make the same decision again if the circumstances were the same.

The Maine study of hysterectomy also reported on the advantages and disadvantages of the operation. Many of the women who took part experienced relief from symptoms — especially pelvic pain, urinary symptoms, fatigue, psychological symptoms and sexual problems — although once again some women experienced new problems after hysterectomy including hot flushes (13%), weight gain (12%), depression (8%) and lack of interest in sex (7%). Many of the symptoms women experience after hysterectomy seem to relate to a downturn in the function of their ovaries. If women are aware of this they can give consideration before surgery to the possibility that hysterectomy and hormone therapy may turn out to be a ‘package’, both components of which are necessary to achieve an improved quality of life.

It is difficult to reconcile the prevalence of new or unresolved symptoms following hysterectomy and the generally high levels of satisfaction with it. Obviously there are many aspects that each woman needs to explore before embarking on a major medical treatment like hysterectomy. This may be more easily said than done; it amounts to putting a value on removal of our present problems while trying to estimate what value we place on a range of future possibilities that may or may not occur. In other words, the symptoms of pelvic pain, difficult bleeding and fatigue that encourage many women to have a hysterectomy are in the ‘here and now’. They make everyday living a chore, or worse, a nightmare. Furthermore many women who have hysterectomies have tried other treatments and found them wanting. In contrast, the outcome of hysterectomy is in the future. Every woman having the operation hopes it will relieve every symptom she has and create no new problems. Realistically, this may not occur. While one can comprehend in one’s mind the fact that up to half of the women who have a hysterectomy experience some adverse effects, and that these may resolve quickly or have a negative impact on quality of life long-term, there is always the possibility that a particular individual will be fortunate and experience no down side. Perhaps women with an optimistic frame of mind are more likely to ‘take the punt’ on hysterectomy than those with a pessimistic bent. Making a decision that takes account of all the possibilities is more difficult.

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