Obviously if you have chosen to follow a homosexual life-style as a mature adult, it is your choice and you should be allowed to live with it. The problems arise for those men and women who find themselves turning towards same-sex partners without being happy about it. This can happen for many reasons, as we have seen.
Very few spouses can cope with the thought of their partner being or becoming homosexual, so the best place to start is probably your general practitioner or local Relate Marriage Guidance counsellor. You do not have to be married to go to the latter. Some basic help from such people will often put your mind at rest, but if you need more detailed or specialist help you can contact a specialist psychosexual therapist either throughout the marriage guidance organisations.
There are thousands of men living secretly with their homosexuality within marriages and the going can be very tough without outside help. Once you have had some professional help you (or your therapist) may suggest that you discuss it with your spouse. How this is done will vary greatly from couple to couple. Some perfectly happily married couples continue to run a normal and happy family life with one of them conducting a secret homosexual love-affair, but they are few and the stresses usually tell in time. The odd homosexual encounter (especially for women) may not threaten a marriage but anything more serious will need professional help. Remember too that many male homosexuals have or have had a sexually transmitted disease and that if you have a homosexual affair you run a considerable risk of giving such a condition to your wife. All of this is more worrying today with AIDS which is, of course, very much more common in the male homosexual community.